Welcome to our messy home, our cluttered minds, and our chaotic lives. Come on in and take a front row seat to our daily (dys)function. The water’s fine. We don’t bite….usually.
This is our first foray into the blogosphere, and we’re not ashamed to say that we’re a little terrified. After all, we’re making a commitment to ourselves to open our lives to the world. Why would anyone do that? We are still kind of wondering that ourselves (and still sort of half-hoping no one ends up reading this stuff).
Here’s the thing, though. As we’ve muddled our way through these past many years, we’ve been on a mission to find role models – couples who have figured out together how to sustain a solid marriage, make it possible for both partners to build careers they are passionate about, both create meaningful relationships with their children, and not lose their individual selves in the process.
We know we can’t be the first ones trying to do this, but after years of looking around and asking everyone we meet about their own journeys, we haven’t found couples who are willing to share – any more systematically than a one-off – their experiences. What worked and what didn’t. What they wish they had known, had done, hadn’t done. How they did it together.
As we’ve gone around asking friends and acquaintances about their experiences, we’ve discovered that most of our peers are locked in some version of this same struggle. We all have lots of questions, and no one knows where to look for answers. Or even guidance. The Internet is cluttered with single-subject experts and individuals sharing experiences from their singular points of view. We’ve found much of it fascinating, provocative, practical, useful. But each still illuminates only a small piece of the pie called life. Successful couples willing to bare their journey through all the complexities of a joined life – nowhere to be found.
Perhaps those who have gone before us are simply very private people. Maybe they’re concerned opening up could hurt their careers. Or their relationships. Maybe they simply haven’t been able to, or cared to, reflect on their paths. Or maybe there is something unique about this moment in history that makes what we and our friends are trying to do particularly challenging. We don’t know. But what we do know is this – friends and acquaintances we’ve floated the idea of this blog to have responded overwhelmingly positively. It is clear that they, too, are hurting for guidance building their two-parent, two-career, more-than-two-person households together.
We certainly don’t have the answers. But we do have a lot of questions. And in our journey to find answers, we’ve discovered that we happen to spend more time than many thinking about, researching, discussing, seeking answers to these questions. So we are taking a leap of faith and putting our joint journey out there for the world to see – in the hopes that seeing our ups and downs, and what we are learning along the way, may help others on similar journeys.
We invite you to join us on our journey, and to share yours with us.