Growing up is hard. Being the person you want to be all the time is even harder. Trust us, we know. Spurred on by each other, and by becoming parents, we have spent a lot of time and effort over the past 5 years working on finding – and being – our best selves. In all aspects of our lives. We fail at this more often than we’d like to admit. But we have promised each other to keep on trying.
We decided to write this blog to help us process everything we are experiencing. We intend it to be:
- An extension of the informal conversations, discussions and disagreements we have in our home all the time, and a way for us, together, to work through and contextualize our experiences as partners, parents, professionals, and people.
- A mechanism to help us stay accountable for the commitments we make to ourselves, each other, and our children.
- A structure to keep us focused on the pursuit of meaning in our lives, our relationships, and our careers.
- A place for us to share what we’re learning along the way, in case others find it helpful.
- A way for us to learn from others – how you approach, understand, and tackle similar challenges in your own life.
What you can expect from this blog is:
- A focus on the “big rocks”. Staying connected partners. Being engaged parents. Aggressively pursuing meaningful careers. Sustaining our own identities, dreams, and hobbies. These are our proverbial “big rocks”. Our version of “having it all.” Sounds simple, but we have found it incredibly difficult to achieve, let alone sustain, for both of us at the same time. This blog delves into all of the parts of our lives. We promise to be honest about our experiences – the good, bad, and ugly, and believe us, there are plenty of ugly – and to share what we are learning about being partners, parents, professionals, and people along the way.
- His, Hers, and Ours. 90% of what is written about work/family issues, “having it all”, and parenting is from the Hers perspective. 10% is from the His. Virtually nothing – save for the rare article recounting new research – even pays lip service to the Ours perspective. But for us – and we suspect for anyone sharing their life with a partner, whether they have kids or not – life, career, and personal choices aren’t made in a vacuum. We have become acutely aware that every choice we make both affects and is affected by the needs and wants of each other, our kids, and our extended family, not to mention our workplaces, colleagues, friends, community, and federal and state laws. Because this journey is Ours, thinking about it from purely a His or Hers perspective feels inadequate, incomplete. We promise to lay both of our perspectives bare, no holds barred, with the hope of better making sense of both our individual and combined journeys. Posts really are written by Her, Him, or Both of Us (as labeled), not ghostwritten by just one of us.